Monday, August 23, 2004
woohoo~ GP's overRrRR!! ha. ok, y m i so happy.. 1 down and a million more to go... blea~ its gonna b essays, essays, n more essays.. ok, wodx new.. y m i complaining when i alr knew.. alrite, at least i don hafta live with looking at chemical equations n physics formulae tt have the mysterious ability to drive someone nuts... heh.
hmmm, saw smthng really disturbing today, at fish n co. Gosh. my tear ducts nearly gave way, but i held them back, as usual.... blea. discovery channel sure shldn't be shown at a place where ppl r trying to enjoy sumptuous seafood platters n fish&chips.. heh.
hmmm.. was jus telling someone tt evryone else seem to have goals n seem to know where they're heading, including tt someone whom i was talking to.. yupx. i guess it IS abt time to actually know wat path u're gonna take.. hmmm.. but no, i still dont. feeling kinda aimless now.. so tired, drained n worst of all, unmotivated.. gosh. hmmm.. its kinda weird.. feelings r really really mixed. like so undriven but yet there's this daunting fact (tt u're screwed if u dont do well) hovering ard u all the time.. mayb, instead of pushing u forward, this thought serves to hold u back.. okay, wait, tt sounded kinda illogical.. y wld u still not wanna do anythng when u noe u're screwed jus by doing tt? i dunno... anw, mayb peer pressure doesn't work afterall.. or rather, it pales in comparison when ya own expectaions n fear of failure comes into the picture.. hmm... isnt tt like the human ego thingy, again(!) ? mayb its not.. mayb its jus how u want others to view u.. to b in awe of ya success n achievements.. wait.. that IS the human ego thingy.. or mayb its jus the goals u set up to psycho yaself into believing tt there's smthng to work towards so tt life aint tt meaningless afterall... hmmm... but tt's kinda lame-sounding.. i dunno.. or mayb u jus wanna do well for the sake of doing welll, cos evryone's doing well n u'll b sucha loser if u dont do well.. haha.. ok, sounds like smthng i heard today.. herd mentality eh, ling? oh wait, tt's peer pressure.. haha.. ok, i see tt i'm gg round in circles here.. haha.. wat an utterly pointless entry.. but heck. its nice to ramble on and on once in awhile. hee.